...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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