I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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