I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
