census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
