i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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