i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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