her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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