I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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