i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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