I want to stick my p in your. b.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
