he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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