It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
