you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
