I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
