What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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