If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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