grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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