so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
