You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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