Porn is love you can see.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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