We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
