So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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