Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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