You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
