She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
