he puts the penis in happiness.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
