im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
