Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
