I got chris browned last night
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize