i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
