What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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