Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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