Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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