O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
