There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Everclear isn't food dammit
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
