Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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