God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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