Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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