he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize