At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
