I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
