I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
