Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
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She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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