just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
