erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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