ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
