Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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