covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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