life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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