I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
