Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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