I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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