I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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