I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
