You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
