So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you win again, gameday.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
