I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Couch. On fire.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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