I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
